As if it weren't hard enough not having control over your own body, weight changes can be incredibly disheartening. Feeling out of control of your own health as well as how you look is a double whammy. Weight loss comes with its own set of issues (of which I'm not familiar because, to be blunt, I'd love that problem), but weight gain in this society is practically unacceptable. Along with it comes shame and a lot of unhelpful, unsolicited "advice" (and let's be honest, not all those people mean well). Once and for all, it's NOT my fucking PERIOD!!!
Weight gain has been hands down the worst symptom I have dealt with since being chronically ill. Eating right, eating less, and at times not even eating at all, and having the scale not budge or worse, go up, is the most maddening thing I have ever experienced in my LIFE. I don't know about you but I can't keep myself away from the computer during times like these. So the following is a list of everypossiblereason that could be causing your weight gain, when the extremely outdated and flawed calorie model isn't explaining anything (after all, our bodies aren't input-output machines).
[Note: If you are experiencing rapid weight gain or swelling/edema, please call your doctor immediately because this could be a sign of a serious illness like congestive heart failure, ascites, or kidney failure.]
A bit of a warning here. Everything I mention in this post warrants a whole blog post of its own. There are many resources online and I leave you to do your own research, but hopefully this can at least serve as a starting point.
Thyroid
The number one reason you're getting fat. Ever heard it before? I bet you have. "It's your thyroid!" Surprisingly, both hypo and hyperthyroidism can cause weight gain, but it's more likely you're hypo, or have a mix of both, which is called Hashimoto's. Thyroid controls metabolism. It's like a master hormone. There are many other things that contribute to metabolism but if your thyroid is out of whack you're gonna be out of whack too.
Hypothyroidism has a symptom list almost as long as Lyme Disease, with weight gain, fatigue, and low body temps being at the top (clear signs of less energy expenditure). Hypothyroidism is a lot more common than the data would suggest. This is because most general practitioners only test your TSH. TSH is what tells your body to make thyroid hormone. If you have a high TSH, in theory, that means your body is telling your thyroid to produce more damn hormones because it's not making enough. But there's something called subclinical hypothyroidism, which I have, where your TSH is normal and your body's just like, yep, this is fine, we're just gonna put out the bare minimum amount of thyroid hormone to keep you alive, nothing to see here. This is why you need to get other blood tests done. Sometimes you have to outright demand them, which is ridiculous but I can't count how many times I've had to demand blood tests. You need to check your T4, free T4 (more important), T3, free T3 (this one is pretty telltale - T3 is the active hormone which T4 converts to), and your RT3, which plugs up the T3 receptors so they can't get in. Why your body makes this a "thing" I have no fucking clue.
Anyway. If you see a regular GP who diagnoses you, they will likely put you on synthetic T4 (Synthroid). No. This stuff is garbage. Sorry. What you want is natural thyroid hormone. It is prescribed, it is regulated, and it works a hell of a lot better because it's made from actual thyroids of pigs and cows. It contains the active hormone, T3, which your body might have a problem converting from T4 and could be the very cause of your hypothyroidism. You'll likely have to find a naturopath for a prescription. Thyroid.org has some good options, or you can just search for naturopathic doctors in your area who can prescribe meds and they should be able to get it. And on the subject of hormones regulating metabolism...
Insulin and Leptin
These probably deserve two separate paragraphs but I'm trying to be as concise as possible here because this is a long-ass post. Insulin and leptin are kind of like the hunger hormones (actually, ghrelin is known as the real "hunger hormone" but that one isn't as important for the purposes of this post).
If you've ever known anyone with diabetes, you'll already know that insulin is a necessary component of the body, but you can also become resistant to it. Insulin regulates blood sugar and fat storage. The higher your blood sugar is, the more insulin is pumped out to lower it, and the more sugar is shuttled away into fat cells. Alright that is vastly over-simplified but, basically, if you're eating too much sugar/carbs, you're spiking your blood sugar all the time, your body's pumping out more and more insulin and eventually it's like dammit I'm tired of this shit and stops responding to it. That's when you get type 2 diabetes. But, you can be insulin resistant without full-blown diabetes too. And this can happen in spite of diet, simply because your hormones are fucked up (more on this later), or widespread inflammation (also see below), or any number of reasons. Spikes and drops in blood sugar cause hypoglycemia, and when this happens, you get "hangry" (such a stupid word) - hungry, angry, tired, jittery. So the result is you're constantly eating to avoid this, and well, if you keep feeling the need to eat, it's hard to not ...eat. And eating more than you expend causes weight gain. It's a little more complicated than that but I haven't studied this in school so this is a shitty abridged version.
Leptin you might not be as familiar with. Leptin is the satiety hormone. So it's kinda similar. It's also the fat-burning hormone. Just like you want to be insulin-sensitive (and not resistant), you also want to be leptin-sensitive. So you'll know when you're full. Leptin also burns fat. Well, not directly. It's part of the process though. If you're leptin resistant you're gonna have a very hard time losing weight. Leptin is produced by fat cells so if you're overweight you probably have more than enough. It's just that your body just isn't responding to it anymore. The best way to become leptin sensitive is to stop snacking, which, if you're insulin resistant (they go hand in hand), is obviously hard for reasons above. The funny thing is though, even though leptin stimulates appetite suppression and fat burning, less leptin is better (like insulin - but you obviously need some). So injecting leptin probably won't help you. The ketogenic/carnivore diet can help with both of these hormones by mediating blood sugar and hunger signals. Speaking of food...
Food Intolerances
So you know what food allergies are. The things that require the epi-pen so the person doesn't die from their throat closing up, and lesser degrees of that. But did you know some food allergies don't show up on allergy tests? Because they aren't allergies in the traditional IgE blood test sense. They can wreak havoc over time, slowly, and cause delayed reactions.
One intolerance we're all familiar with now, thanks to the blogosphere, is gluten. Yes, we all know Celiac is the gluten allergy thing that causes all kinds of crazy symptoms. But you can have other degrees of sensitivity and gluten is among the most common. Gluten (which is actually a protein), along with grains that have a hard outer shell (brown rice is not your friend in this case), can irritate the lining of your stomach and cause leaky gut syndrome, another buzzword in the online community (though it's a real thing, medically labeled as "intestinal permeability"). Other common food sensitivities include peanuts, corn, shellfish, tree nuts, lactose, and soy (a big one, and one you should avoid anyway as it's mostly GMO and estrogenic (discussed below)).
Carb intolerance is also a thing. Those that would benefit from the ketogenic/carnivore diet are often carb intolerant. This can come from insulin resistance or hormone imbalance (such as PCOS - see below). This is a relatively simple fix - lower the amount of carbs in your diet until you figure out the threshold at which you can stop gaining/start losing weight and you don't have blood sugar swings anymore.
Finally, SIgA is something you might want to pay attention to. You can figure out how much you have if you take a stool test. This is one instance where more is more. It's important for fighting off infections and bad bugs. SIgA also "tags" food as being okay to eat. The less you have, the more food intolerances you have, in a nutshell. People with Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, and gut disorders usually have low levels of this. It can be caused for the same reasons most of these gut ailments are caused by - stress, infection, etc. It can also cause SIBO (below). Treatment for low SIgA includes cleaning up your diet (derp), S. Boulardii, probiotics, glutamine (careful with this - see next section), and colostrum. And we're not done with the subject of food yet...
Histamine, Glutamate, and the GAPS Diet
Histamines are an evil thing. Yes, they are necessary in some amount in the body, as are most things the body naturally comes equipped with. They help fight infections. But too much of them, of course, is no bueno. Overproduction of histamine and/or inability to degrade it due to lack of DAO enzymes causes widespread inflammation, leaky capillaries (leading to water retention, also discussed below), very bitchy food intolerances (above), irritable bowels, basically every gut problem you could imagine. It can be caused by a number of things including stress (what doesn't stress cause?), infection (like Lyme disease), chronic illness (physical stress, like Lyme, lupus, MS, fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, etc.), and the like. The treatment for it, naturally along with treating the root cause, is avoiding high histamine foods. Generally the longer a food sits out, and the more protein it has, the more histamine content it has. But a lot of random foods like spinach, peanuts, and tomatoes are high in histamine too so check a list to be sure. You might have to do your own elimination diet (can help with food intolerances too) because what affects one might not affect the other. Overall, you want to eat fresh food and avoid anything slow-cooked or aged (like cheese and beef, which is actually aged to obtain its flavor prior to market).
Glutamate is another sneaky one. MSG, the Magical Secret inGredient as someone spelled out to me yesterday, is something you might be familiar with thanks to (American) Chinese food. Glutamate is excitatory. In normal amounts it's fine as it gives you energy. Too much causes most of the problems histamines do - leaky gut, food intolerance, anxiety (because of its effect on GABA - see my insomnia post).
Now here's the kicker. Most people with leaky gut and other gut issues hear great things about the GAPS diet - Gut and Psychology Syndrome. They go on it and voila - every symptom they have is now on full blast. This is because GAPS, honestly, is a horrible diet to follow for the reasons it is promoted. Bone broth, one of the most "gut healing" components of it, is exceedingly high in both glutamate and histamine and can spell disaster for you. In fact, I believe a few servings of bone broth is what tipped my histamine bucket over the edge into full blown Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (basically the medical term for severe histamine intolerance). That happened months ago and still I suffer from food intolerances and inflammation that just drive me (and my weight) up the wall. L-Glutamine, an amino acid also promoted for its healing properties, just like the name sounds, is a building block for glutamate. I'm not sure if there's a connection, but histamine and glutamate excitation seem to go hand in hand. This along with the high amounts of meat in the GAPS diet could make you feel like death. This is one case where I would NOT recommend the keto/carnivore diet.
Treatment for these includes avoiding the listed foods, taking DAO enzymes to degrade histamine in food prior to meals, avoiding snacking between meals (I know it's a hard one, but every time you eat histamine is released), taking Vitamin C, quercetin, and zinc (all of which degrade histamine/promote DAO), and eat DAO promoting foods like olive oil and onion. But wait! We're STILL not done discussing food, because next up is...
SIBO/SIFO
So if you're not familiar with the gut, nutrients are all absorbed in the small intestine. This is normally a sterile environment with a limited amount of bacteria. The large intestine is where all the dookie (medical term) goes. But if you're eating the wrong kind of food, or you have an infection, or leaky gut, or have fungus (Candida or SIFO which is similar to SIBO), or your body just SUCKS, you can develop SIBO. Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth. The two types of this are methane-dominant which usually leads to constipation, and hydrogen-dominant which leads to diarrhea (note: methane-dominant has nothing to do with how much you fart). You can also have both. There's a theory that most IBS is just poorly/untreated SIBO.
Like Lyme Disease, the med-industrial complex throws a couple-week course of antibiotics at you for SIBO. This is usually Xifaxin (for hydrogen) and possibly Neomycin (for methane). You take a breath test for a diagnosis, then test afterward. (Note: I've heard of the breath test reactivating people's SIBO that was dormant, so if you can get a doc who gives a clinical diagnosis this would be more ideal). The more extreme, but highly effective, treatment is a two-week Elemental Diet protocol where all you drink is nasty shakes, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And if you're carb-intolerant, they're even nastier, because it's usually chunky pieces of coconut oil you'll have to put in there. There's also amino acids in there for your protein, so that could potentially pose a problem for histamines (histidine) or glutamate (glutamine)! AGH! It's a nightmare!
The FODMAPS diet can help you avoid fermentable foods that feed bacterial overgrowth (fermented = high bacterial load). These include different types of saccharides. Once again you'll have to look up the specific foods for this diet because they can vary. But the most common gut-busters (in a bad way) are beans, garlic and onion, unfortunately. I know, onion is good, onion is bad, what the hell CAN I eat? At this point I just eat what I can. I may or may not have SIBO still, but I still eat garlic and onion because dammit they're delicious and I'm down to less than ten foods at this point.
Finally, here are natural treatments for SIBO, and they often treat SIFO/candida. Candida is a yeast overgrowth in the gut that makes you crave carbs and sugar to feed it. Everyone has the bacteria, but when you have an overgrowth it can also contribute to weight gain, insulin resistance, everything that'll make you go nuts. Candida can be controlled with a low-carb, no-sugar diet but it's very hard to get rid of. Anyway. The natural treatments for SIBO include protocols that involve things like Allimed/Allimax (prescription-grade allicin (garlic extract)), berberine, neem, monolaurin/lauricidin (coconut extract), oil of oregano, digestive enzymes, S. Boulardii (a beneficial yeast, not a probiotic), and herbal combo products like Dysbiocide, FC Cidal, Xymogen Candicidal, Candibactin AR and Candibactin BR. Pro-kinetics are also helpful to keep the food moving along (get it - promoting motion? hah, hah), and these include OTC products like triphala, Iberogast (online) (note neither of these worked for me), or Atrantil (also treats SIBO itself) or erythromycin. Alinia has shown some promise in treating SIBO/gut issues but can be hard to tolerate so start slow. It's also expensive. On that note, let's move on from food to gut bacteria...
Gut Bacteria
Did you know that if you take two mice and inject one of them with the gut bacteria of an obese person and one with that of a thin person, the mice's body types will mimic those of their respective donors? More and more research posits that gut bacteria holds a major influence over the obesity epidemic. Obviously you are what you eat, and eating junk will not help your little creatures, but you are also what your parents gave you.
You might be familiar with probiotics. And there's prebiotics and soil-based organisms and apparently something called postbiotics which I have no idea what would consist of. I actually just bought my first batch of spore-biotics which don't need refrigeration so I'll tell you how that goes if I see results. Research shows that probiotics really do not help us. First of all, we have innumerable strains of bacteria in our guts, and naturally they differ from person to person. Probiotics typically have 8-12 strains. Second, the strains in probiotics actually might contribute to decreased biodiversity. That's right, they can start killing off some of the good guys you already have in your gut! Third, sometimes you can down probiotics day in and day out and they won't even get to colonize your gut because the current residents won't let them build communities. They will be ostracized and go in and out of you (if only they could take those fat cells with you amirite).
Two types of gut bacteria that hold some influence over obesity are firmicutes and bacteroidetes. These you probably haven't heard of. I didn't until I got a GI Map stool test (I'd recommend one just to see where you stand from a GI standpoint, though they're not definitive of course). Basically, firmicutes are bad and bacteroidetes are good. The more F's you have the more fat cells like to expand their territory, and the more B's you have the better you'll look. Firmicutes do NOT make you firm, or cute, in other words. One example of a firmicute is Enterococcus. There's not a whole lot of research on their ties to obesity at the moment, or their mechanisms of action, but word is that beans can increase the ratio in your favor. However! Beans are bad for FODMAPs and histamines (though this is debatable, too) so pick your poison. And since we're talking about stool...
Constipation, Diarrhea, and IBS
Irritable bowel syndrome. A collection of mysterious ailments involving the bowel that used to be thought to be a psychosomatic disorder (thanks, asshole modern medicine). Causes of this are unknown, though SIBO, as mentioned above, can be a major contributor. IBS can cause idiopathic constipation (IBS-C), diarrhea (IBS-D), or both interchangeably (IBS-A (alternating)).
Constipation can cause weight gain for obvious reasons (you can have up to five pounds poop in you at any time if you're backed up). Diarrhea can also cause weight gain because you might feel constantly empty/hungry and your body might not be absorbing nutrients so it'll pack your food away for later. They both can cause weight loss, diarrhea for obvious reasons, constipation because you feel full all the time, and both because you might be deterred from eating due to the effects (uncomfortable or not wanting to shit yourself in public).
The causes of IBS are unknown. As I said, SIBO is thought to be a primary suspect. Treatment usually involves stool softeners, laxatives, Miralax, Metamucil (fiber), and in very extreme cases getting part of your intestines removed or a colostomy (colon removal). Hopefully it doesn't come to that. Enemas (particularly coffee enemas) can be helpful temporarily but don't reach that high in the colon. Colonics also only provide temporary relief and don't get to the root of the problem.
Some other things that can cause bowel obstruction that are quite serious are colon polyps and diverticulitis. If you have IBS symptoms I'd urge you to schedule an appointment with the GI doctor (gastroenterologist) and, if typical prescriptions don't help, schedule a colonoscopy. If anything they'll give you something called GoLytely that will scrape your system clean of all traces of doodoo so they can stick a camera up there.
One more thing, if you're up for it: you can do a salt water flush to scare the shit out of you. Typically it involves dissolving 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 tablespoons of sea salt into 1-2 bottles of purified or distilled water, then drinking it all, and proceeding to spend the next couple hours next to a toilet. Be prepared and don't make any plans for a while because apparently, the aftermath quite the smelly horror scene (hence, scary). For me it just made me pee out my butt and not much came out. If it works for you, or not, let me know in the comments. While we're on the subject of unwanted objects in your gut...
Parasites, Mold, Pathogens, and General Dysbiosis
We all have some parasites. Hate to burst your bubble, but if you eat or drink, they're in there. (And no, they're not just in meat - raw, uncooked food is more likely to have them). The most well-known ones are Cryptosporidium and Giardia, but to be honest, I don't think science has even covered the tip of the iceberg as to the number of parasites out there. Parasites can come out in your stool sometimes, if you take antiparasitics. Even if they don't, that doesn't mean they aren't there. The theory is that parasites reproduce with the moon cycles and that's when they're most active. I'm not sure about this so I'll just leave that up to you. Parasites will eat all your nutrients and potentially give you IBS-like symptoms (often diarrhea), and since they eat your vitamins and minerals too, they can make your body deficient and hold on to food (causing weight gain). Typically a doctor will give you antiparasitic prescriptions to deal with them. These include Malarone (also effective for babesia, it's used for malaria), Albendazole, Ivermectin, Alinia, Mimosa pudica (can be bought online), and some other ones I'm forgetting. You might also want to take a binder like bentonite clay, diatomaceous earth or zeolite to help get the bastards out.
We also all have some degree of mold. It's in the food, it's in the air, some of it is in your air filters and such. The important part is what your level of mold is and how sensitive you are to it. The primary ones you'll see on a lab test are Penicillium, Cladosporium, Aspergillus, Stachybotyrus (black mold - the worst), and Candida (mentioned above). Candida can be controlled with diet and avoiding sugar/alcoholic beverages (alcohol is fermented sugar - major no-no on both fronts for gut dysbiosis). As for the other ones, well, the first thing you gotta do is get rid of the mold. Either change your living/working environment or get the mold removed professionally. (Warning: if you do this it will inevitably cause an initial stir-up in symptoms due to all the spores being revealed.) I have to be honest - I haven't treated for mold so I don't know the protocol other than you need to take binders to get it out, usually charcoal. Charcoal has some precautions of its own, namely that it attaches to food and meds so you must take it 1-2 hours between ingestion of either, and it can cause constipation (I know, damned if you do damned if you don't).
There are quite a few different pathogens that can colonize your gut. Some of the main ones are Campylobacter, C. difficile, E. coli, Salmonella, and viruses like Adenovirus, Norovirus, HHV 6 (99% of people have this - it's herpes, but not genital herpes), CMV (Cytomegalovirus), and EBV (Epstein-Barr Virus, also a herpes virus). You've probably heard about E. coli and Salmonella outbreaks in food. Each of these is its own beast. Most require antibiotics. E. coli, Norovirus and salmonella often clear up on their own. HHV6 and CMV use the same medications (anti-CMVs) as treatment, but HHV6 mostly just flares up (like herpes, naturally). EBV is the one that'll bring you down to the ground though. It can have all the same symptoms as Lyme and really just tackles your immune system. Many suspect it's a main player in other illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia, and other incurable "syndromes" with a bunch of random symptoms, because of all the toxins it releases (and guess where toxins are stored: fat!).
Finally, there are just some generally bad bacteria you do not want living inside you. These include H. pylori, certain strains of Enterococcus, Staphylococcus (staph infection), and Streptococcus (strep throat). H. pylori is diagnosed with a breath test, like SIBO. You drink a nasty solution and then breath into a bag a while later. Unfortunately, the antibiotics for H. pylori can also cause weight gain. Agh!!! I know, I know. It's enough to make you say, dammit, I'll just keep the damn bugs. Antibiotics are used for the -coccus strains too. Antibiotics, antibiotics everywhere! And yes, I have a section that touches on that as well. Fortunately these bacteria don't directly contribute to weight gain in significant amounts, but they do alter your gut microbiome in a bad way which most certainly can lead to an unwanted muffin top. More stuff that can alter your gut? Read on...
Medications
Oh boy. Medications and weight gain, let me count the ways. So many different classes of medications can cause weight gain and sometimes the cause is unknown. These include antihistamines, antidepressants, antipsychotics, antibiotics, opiates, and here's something you might not consider: withdrawing from medications can also cause weight gain. Birth control and steroids, which are technically hormones not medication, are also a huge culprit.
Antihistamines are often for allergies, but they can be used for other things like histamine intolerance (next section). The reason these might cause weight gain is histamines are excitatory metabolism byproducts, so they can give you energy, thus contributing to metabolism. Thus, antihistamines can slow this process down. This can be a good thing short-term, but long-term antihistamines like Ketotifen and those used for sleep can cause major weight gain.
Antidepressants are often of the SSRI class. Serotonin is actually largely located in the gut. So messing with it can mess with food digestion, metabolism, and it can also spike your appetite. However, some people just tolerate meds differently than others and gain weight in spite of diet and exercise due to these jagged little pills.
Antipsychotics are notorious for weight gain. It's a major reason a lot of psychiatric patients refuse to take their medication. They make you dull, in short. They slow everything down, which can be good for mania/schizophrenia, but they also make you super sleepy (which can be good for insomnia, but I'm talking all-day zombification). So, they slow you down. And this means your metabolism. Once again everyone is affected differently and some might not gain, some might gain a lot.
Antibiotics mess with your gut. They mess with your microbiome by deleting a bunch of strains along with the ones they target. This includes the good fat-burning bacteria sometimes. Antibiotics shouldn't be used flippantly. In a way they're like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Probiotics are suggested while you take antibiotics but due to the low level of strains, their questionable absorption, and (you might be surprised) their negative impact on gut biodiversity, they're honestly not gonna help you in this regard and are a huge waste of money.
Opiates will make you constipated, in short. It's not real weight gain per se, but you will look bigger because your gut will be full of poop. Lots of people use opiates when they have diarrhea, though they're not prescribed for that reason. There's a theory that Kurt Cobain was addicted to heroin because he had IBS-D and serious stomach pain, both of which opiates treat.
Birth control, thanks to messing with hormones, is another notorious cause of weight gain. I avoid it for that reason among others. Some doctors use it to treat PCOS patients which is...questionable. A lot is water weight but because it involves estrogen (discussed below), it can also increase the amount of fat you have.
Finally, steroids are a big cause of weight gain. No, I'm not talking about bodybuilding. If you've ever taken any form of cortisone you'll be familiar with the "moonface" that comes with it. Cortisone makes you retain water and since it messes with cortisol (below), it can also make you retain fat for complicated reasons. So on the subject of cortisol...
Adrenals
Your adrenals are a major contributor to all processes in your body. They're closely intertwined with thyroid. If one is out of balance the other is guaranteed to be as well. Adrenals give you energy. Their most well known product is adrenaline (and the lesser knowns noradrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine), but they also produce cortisol. Cortisol is a tricky guy. If it's too high, you'll be stressed all the time, won't sleep, and your blood sugar will be all messed up, it'll leech pregnenolone away so your other hormones won't get produced, your insulin goes haywire...bunch of nasty stuff that all leads to weight gain.
Then, after that process goes on too long, you'll start to experience what's called "adrenal fatigue", or adrenal insufficiency I guess. I'm not quite sure if they're the same, but adrenal fatigue is when your adrenals majorly slow down production of cortisol, leading to tiredness all the time, inability to cope with stress, and unexpectedly enough, inability to sleep. You need a certain amount of cortisol to get thyroid hormone into its receptors, but not too much. If you don't make enough, sometimes you'll be given hydrocortisone (Cortef) to treat it. Sometimes this doesn't work for people and their adrenals end up producing even less and they become dependent on it. On to the other hormones now...
Sex Hormones
The sexy sex hormones. You all know two of them - testosterone, the dude hormone, and estrogen, the chick hormone. There's another - progesterone, which is kind of both, but more attributed to women because it's "pro-gestation". And there are a bunch other minor sex-related hormones that I won't get into because this post is a mile long already and they're not too important for the goal here.
If you are a female, PCOS is a common culprit of weight gain due to majorly elevated testosterone levels (which are linked to insulin resistance in females) and low progesterone (linked to water retention among other things). PCOS can be treated with spironolactone which lowers testosterone and rids some water retention; birth control (if painful periods are a symptom, though messing with hormones is risky); and metformin (Glucophage) which controls blood sugar, and lowers testosterone a bit, but can cause upset stomach.
Conversely, low testosterone can also cause weight gain in both men and women. Testosterone is known for its fat-burning abilities in addition to libido stimulation, muscle building, stamina, etc. When your testosterone is low (incidentally this happens with low progesterone too) you'll experience estrogen dominance, where your body is making too much estrogen in proportion to the other hormones. Estrogen is a fat storage hormone, because our bodies are still primal and think we need a bunch of body fat to hold a baby for some reason I guess? I don't know. Some people say bodies are smart. Bodies are stupid, I say. Estrogen will lead to aromatization and fat gain and water retention and mood issues and just toxicity all over. In fact I don't think I've ever read anything good about estrogen other than it might have some beneficial properties for clearing your skin up. Someone once said it's a happy hormone. Yeah, right. You know what else affects estrogen?...
Liver Issues
Your liver. Chinese medicine emphasizes the liver. It's a big detox organ. If you have a bunch of alcohol all the time it gets as fucked up as you do and you get cirrhosis or fatty liver. But you can also get non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. Isn't life grand? The body can fuck up for no reason.
One thing the liver detoxes is estrogen. Too much estrogen and a shoddy liver (shown by increased liver enzymes on a blood test as well as high beta-glucuronidase levels on a stool test) equals poor detox ability and increased storage of toxins, in the most convenient place to store trash - more body fat. Too many drugs can potentially back up the liver. Milk thistle is thought to fix the liver but it can mimic estrogen. Once again, damned if you do damned if you don't. Water also gets stored in fat cells, which some people aren't aware of. Water makes up about 10% of the content of fat cells. So fat cells store water-soluble toxins as well. Where the rest of this water is stored beats me. Which leads me to...
Kidney Issues
Now if you know anything about the kidneys, it's that they filter all the fluid that comes through the body. The little kidney bean shaped things in your lower back. If your kidneys suck, your detox ability is also impaired. Too much water will lead to weight gain on the scale. Your body will be hard to the touch, because it is full of water, not squishy fat. Electrolytes play a role in water retention. Sometimes salt makes you retain water. More than likely it won't unless you're drinking pickle juice. Sometimes salt will tell your body it's okay to get rid of water. Potassium is good for releasing water. Magnesium. That also helps you poop sometimes. And calcium, uh, is also an electrolyte. If all else fails try natural diuretics. Temporary solutions are still solutions amirite.
People tell you to drink more water to get rid of water weight. You know when this doesn't work? When your kidneys aren't filtering properly. Honestly this is some of the dumbest shit I've ever heard. If you have water retention problems, drinking more water will just leave your kidneys with more work to do. And they're not going to work overtime when they can't even work on time. You'll end up with more water. Ta-da. See how that works?
Now I know a lot of people think detoxing is bullshit. These people are the people with perfect detox pathways who also think starvation mode and similar phenomenons are bullshit because they have no problems losing weight and are in perfect health. Fuck these people. So, regarding the importance of detoxing...
Inflammation
Inflammation is the number one driver of weight gain. Last but not least, probably most actually. It causes all the problems of the above and some of the problems I'll mention after this (or is caused by them, one or the other). Inflammation leads to weight gain. It also leads to water retention. These are both stupid measures by your body to prevent you from getting sick. Only they make you more sick, and stressed, and angry. Inflammation is good for acute illness. Ongoing inflammation leads to chronic illness and the body fucking up in every way you wish it wouldn't. And if you don't like gaining weight, your body's gonna gain weight just to spite you. What's that called, Murphy's Law or something? If it can go wrong it will?
What causes chronic inflammation? Well, chronic illnesses, viruses, and miscellaneous syndromes can. Inflammation can also cause those. It's an infinite feedback loop. It's complicated. What isn't? Why is this post so long? Some things just suck. Including reading thousand-word blog posts to find the answer to the problems doctors couldn't give a shit about. Anyway. Other things that can cause inflammation: Too much exercise. Not enough exercise. The wrong kinds of foods. The wrong kinds of foods for your body (see: food intolerances). Lack of sleep. Medications. Drinking alcohol. Drinking tap water. Watching the news. Heavy metal burden. Hormone imbalance. Electrolyte imbalance. Any imbalance. Oh and probably stress, I dunno.
Some science-y things that cause stress are things called excitotoxins. These are basically glutamate and histamine. I mentioned these above. Additionally, cytokines, which are just little devils. Cytokines are an inflammatory response and I don't understand what their use is. They're like the reverse T3 of the inflammation system (remember that thing up there?). Why do they exist? Just, why. Well, if you're like me, and you get a Herxheimer reaction (Google it, this post is long enough as is) from any type of supplement, you get a flood of cytokines, and voila, that can make you gain weight. What the fuck?? Yeah, my response every time. I take a supplement, up a pound the next day, pound never comes off, queue infinite cycle of weight gain. One year I actually gained 40 pounds over my normal weight due to this. But of course it was what I was eating (saw a nutritionist every week and eating disorder mindset was in full force), my lack of exercise (for inflammation-related reasons), and other stupid outdated simplified reasons.
So, there you have it. Whew! Your body can fuck up in endless ways! Chronic illness is a bitch! What else is new. I hope this post helps, if only so you can show it to the preachers of the Good Word of Calories In Calories Out, so they can potentially shut the fuck up (yeah, right). (Can someone explain to me what's wrong with these people, anyway? They are the most defensive people on the internet.) (I mean really, it's like you're threatening their whole world view.) (Just saying, the laws of physics also include the [complicated] laws of the human body.) (Not everything is that simple, stupid.) (Okay I'm done.)
Alright, I'm gonna go back to silently crying and taking anger naps regarding my seven pound weight gain. See you next month, if I think of anything else worth writing.
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